my son doesn't care about anything

At 15, I cant read his penmanship, and he doesnt put any effort into projects he doesnt care. But mother to mother, lets let go of that thought and the fact they could be doing so much more with their life right now despite our support and our nagging and focus on the positive things they bring to the table because there are many. Check to enable permanent hiding of message bar and refuse all cookies if you do not opt in. Make it very clear that you are not upset and that they are not in trouble. Shes stopped socializing with friends and just stays by herself. A key symptom of depression is the loss of interest in things once enjoyed. If you find yourself persistently feeling like you don't care about anything, then it can be a sign that something in your life needs to change or that you are experiencing some type of mental health condition. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. My 16 yr. old son is a late fall birthday junior in high school. And don't take his word for it because he'll tell you he's uninterested in anything. She looks downcast all the time. Theres no logical reason why communication between young adults and their parents should decrease or stop during this developmental phase. You plead, you yell, you bribenothing seems to get through to your teen. I just don't get it. Its Trying to Save Us. In reality, however, losing phone privileges may actually bother them a great deal. Some problems like depression can gradually grow worse over time, especially if they are left untreated. An Elite Cafemedia Family & Parenting Publisher. No matter how many, When our older daughter recently turned 20, I congratulated my husband on surviving two decades of parenting. /* NP - Reduce the size of the College Admission Timeline - CTM 1/18/23 */ She just lost her best friend to a fatal car accident a month ago. Get updates straight to your inbox. Pay little attention to your child's comments about your discipline. This is a good time to seek therapy or some other kind of outside support. Spend the time instead on personal growth. What a review of 30 studies reveals about the impact of pets on depression. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. To the Mom With a Teen Who Just Doesn't Seem to Care by Grown and Flown | May 9, 2021 I watched my son walk to my car last Friday after school. "My son is a slob! Encourage independence. Trouble concentrating or making decisions. Situation #4: "I don't care" is a handy and readily available excuse kids use to avoid taking responsibility. Of course, I could say something to his dad about it and fault him for letting his son arrive at school in such a state, but I dont. Did those meetings result in a plan? You may find that having people who can offer validation and encouragement can help you feel more inspired and interested. But he doesnt want to play sports; he couldnt care less if he was wearing clean clothes or has deodorant on or if all his friends are in the National Honor Society, and he could be too if he tried just a bit more. To her parents, Amy seems less happy than she used to be. From choosing baby's name to helping a teenager choose a college, you'll make . What do they want to achieve when they grow up? My son doesnt care about many things right now, and if your child doesnt either, lets try and remember (together because I need support here) there are worse things. You wonder if its something youve done, if youve pushed too hard or not enough. Parenting tips to help gain cooperation from a previously non-compliant child. Its normal if your relationship with your teen seems to be a bit strained. 'What Is the Point of Life? You might also let them decide whether they want to be assessed. Does your son not care about school? Although parents should not spare the older adolescent this time of struggle, they can offer encouragement and also provide perspective by relating some of the trials they went through starting out in life many years ago. Who cares about grades? protests the middle school student to parents, as academic performance falls from failing effort. "Why don't I care about anything?" If it becomes a power struggle, its not likely to help motivate your teen to care. Be there for them when they are ready to chat about what bothers them. If you do, make sure that your child understands that you dont think there is anything wrong with them, but you want to learn more about how you and the school can help them. How adaptive and maladaptive humor styles relate to depression. If a cluster of these symptoms is present it is time to have them assessed, first by the doctor. What is REALLY Going On? This site uses cookies. Ahead, we outline the actions that you can take if your teenager is failing school because of a seeming lack of motivation. Because cynicism makes it difficult to stay motivated, it can be the enemy of effort at a time when summoning the will to keep trying, to try even harder, is what is needed. There have been moments Ive screamed at him, trying to get across how much I want him to care, how much I want him to live up to his potential, but it doesnt help. "Video_Individual_Autoplay_SOff";a.Video_Coll_SOff_Smartphone="Video_Coll_SOff_Smartphone";a.Video_In_Post_ClicktoPlay_SoundOn="Video_In-Post_ClicktoPlay_SoundOn"})(v||(v={}));var w;(w||(w={})).None="none";var x;(function(a){a.WEIGHTEDCHOICE="weightedChoice";a.BERNOULLITRIAL="bernoulliTrial"})(x||(x={}));var y;(function(a){a.INTEGER="integer";a.FLOAT="float";a.BOOLEAN="boolean";a.STRING="string"})(y||(y={}));var z;(function(a){a.DESKTOP="desktop";a.MOBILE="mobile";a.ALL="all"})(z||(z={}));var A;(function(a){a.AdDensity= But then there are real family crisesauto accidents, illnesses, layoffs, house fires, the list goes onwhen families should work together. Because healthy personal relationships must work two ways and not just one (the adolescents way), and because after leaving school the young person must be prepared to function in a larger and more diverse world, lack of empathy and range in personal relationships will not serve the growing adolescent well. But supporting their dreams likely will. New Texas laws favor parents in child abuse investigations as legislators try to limit number of kids in foster care. If no health issue is found in the teen, he or she will be referred to a mental health professional. "Why wont she talk to us? She is outgoing, friendly and fun. Another impact of substance use on apathy is not caring about consequences and engaging in dangerous risk-taking. I know you have. 2022 Sandbox Networks Inc. All rights reserved. Is a loud "I don't care!" the way your teen responds when you warn them of a coming punishment? Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts. Raising teens is lonely and difficult but parents of teens should know that things get better. Shes given up working out. In either case, parents should push for an assessment of use, and if advised, see about getting substance use counseling, treatment, or support group help. As a parent you are at your wits end. Leer en espaol. Research has shown us that a woman's depression will improve markedly with the consistent support of a significant other. Neither of my boys knew what they wanted to do, so they chose an IT course. Apathy in neuropsychiatric disease: diagnosis, pathophysiology, and treatment, Individual differences in premotor brain systems underlie behavioral apathy, You don't find pleasure or enjoyment in the things that you normally love doing, You've lost interest in your friendships and other relationships and have withdrawn socially, You've stopped engaging in hobbies and other interests, You have a difficult time expressing emotions, You often feel that you'd prefer to just be alone, You've dropped out of activities or events that you normally participate in because you have no motivation, Things you used to be passionate about seem unimportant or trivial, You neglect basic tasks like making phone calls or going to appointments. Sure, it doesn't look like they care. They are good and kind and can be sweet, and dammit, you love them its guttural and huge. Sorted by: 1. Embrace natural consequences. Yet separation from parents can be a tumultuous process that feels anything but normal. If parents are so upset about their child pulling away from them that they find it hard to think about anything else, it could be because: Parents in these two situations are vulnerable to severe distress when their now-grown children suddenly go radio silent. A 2015 study on college and graduate students, largely women, revealed that 43.5% had been estranged from their mothers. Not much research exists on narcissistic parenting, partly because adults in therapy often don't identify having narcissistic parents. Reviewed by Kaja Perina. Posted November 22, 2016 Parents can get their feelings hurt. Q: My son is in seventh grade and is failing most classes. Feeling like you dont care about anything often extends to not caring about yourself either. He doesnt skip school; he gets his work done by the skin of his teeth, and he takes care of me when I get sick since his father moved out. While parents are often inclined to trivialize boredom in their adolescent, it is actually a very painful emotion. Shes showing signs that she needs help. padding-left: 1em; BNI Treatment Centers is located in Southern California inAgoura HillsandCalabasasnear Los Angeles and Ventura counties. An adult child who makes a poor decisionlike a daughter who buys a Coach purse instead of paying her bills, or a son who gambles with his rent moneyshould learn from that decision. In kids, it often cloaks the subconscious but powerful beliefs, "I am a failure and a disappointment, and . Posted September 18, 2020 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma Somewhere on the continuum between present and absent, distant and close, even enmeshed and estranged, there is a point in family life when parents. Teenagers are gaining independence and trying to fit in with their peers values. One is very quiet and painfully shy. FamilyEducation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The young person cant find a satisfying way to connect with herself, other people, or the world. Forget Co-Parenting With a Narcissist. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Click to enable/disable Google reCaptcha. They might be acting sneaky or isolating themselves. Ask them if they are okay. "The key is to start from . The less you push, plead, and nag, the sooner your child will take responsibility. Ive tried; Ive taken him to counseling; Ive loved him hard, and Ive backed off. We are both baffled; we both did well in high school and couldnt wait to go to college. Sleep problems, like sleeping too much or trouble sleeping. It could be that they are dealing with some social problems that are making them feel sad or even bullied. Teens who sulk and pout might be trying to punish a parent for something, like a divorce or moving. Anhedonia in depression: biological mechanisms and computational models. Anhedonia in depression: biological mechanisms and computational models. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines. Depression can alter how we see the world, ourselves, and others. Posted May 28, 2012 Think about recent events in your life that might be contributing to what you are feeling. Sometimes a teen begins acting differently; they no longer behave like their usual self. Do you or your partner spend some study time with him talking about his work and checking it over? The next step is to set short-term goals that work towards their long-term goal. Toddlers throw tantrums because they don't have the language skills or emotional habits to communicate more effectively. This is when parents complain: He only thinks of himself! In the second case, the high school student may be so committed to a social clique and sticking to her own kind that there is insensitivity and indifference to the welfare of others outside of her immediate associations. Maybe youre worried about that too. There are many reasons why a teen seems to have check out and stopped caring. We provide you with a list of stored cookies on your computer in our domain so you can check what we stored. While everyone experiences varying degrees of such feelings from time to time, excessive feelings of apathy and anhedonia are often a sign of a deeper problem. That might help put things into perspective and show him that doing well in school impacts other parts of his life. (If you have kids in their 20s, Im guessing you havent been living with your parents all this time.). It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. It could be that your teen might benefit from some therapy. If they are found to be using a substance, there are teen treatment programs for this age group. And that might not mean that they need to be a straight-A student or that they need to attend a university instead of a community college. It can make it hard to reach your goals or may cause you to do things that don't reflect your values or expectations. Research suggests that people who are prone to apathy have a much more difficult time initiating behavior. If your 20-something son or daughter has cut you off, recognize that its likely to be temporary. You can check these in your browser security settings. Is a loud I dont care! the way your teen responds when you warn them of a coming punishment? To ground them? It also covers some of the strategies that may help you feel more interested and engaged in the world around you. Remember those cliched but still wise words, "If you love something, set it free.". Your job is to help them see what stepping stones there are along the road to their aspirations. Where did we go wrong? But for his future sake at this disaffected time, the parents insist that all school work will be done, and apply their oversight to make it so. I know how their morning went well because Ive had many confrontations with him about his clothing if hes taken a shower or done his homework on time, and he doesnt care. "cmp"})(q||(q={}));var r;(function(a){a.bidCycleNonlazy="bidCycleNonlazy";a.instream="instream";a.lazy="lazy";a.refresh="refresh";a.session="session";a.crossDomain="crossdomain";a.highSequence="highsequence"})(r||(r={}));var t;(function(a){a.prebidLoad="prebidLoad";a.amazonLoad="amazonLoad";a.gptLoad="gptLoad"})(t||(t={}));var u;(function(a){a.Desktop="desktop";a.Mobile="mobile"})(u||(u={}));var v;(function(a){a.Video_Collapse_Autoplay_SoundOff="Video_Collapse_Autoplay_SoundOff";a.Video_Individual_Autoplay_SOff= While your child takes some time to continue his or her development as an individual, you can do the same. Hopeless, helpless, pessimistic, fatalistic, when the young person loses sight of what used to matter they may need help reviving their sense of positive purpose in life to restore healthy functioning. My Teens Pulled Away But Then They Came Back, My Parents Wont Help Me and They Dont Spend Time With My Kids, When My Daughter Realized She Didnt Need to be Perfect, To Moms Who Feel Desperate About Parenting Their Teens, I Want My Kids to Live Close, I Have to Let Them Live Their Lives, My Son Thrived in High School AFTER I Let Go of My Expectations for Him. We fully respect if you want to refuse cookies but to avoid asking you again and again kindly allow us to store a cookie for that. Not caring can be a coping mechanism for kids who have given up because they have lost their confidence. Copyright 2023 Grown and Flown. 2. They're part of an ongoing process. Twenty-three-year-old Amy (not her real name) used to be the apple of her fathers eye. Changes will take effect once you reload the page. He will be in 11th grade this school year. Are they logical and immediate? We all want a healthy and long-lasting relationship with our children. 1838 Is your child's answer to everything, "I don't care" or "It doesn't matter?" Parents often think that if they can find a new way to encourage their child, he or she will magically start achieving more. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); What Are the Red Flags in Teenage Behavior? Many parents may wonder how to deal with a teenager that doesnt care. Research has found that people who experience more apathy are also more likely to report more feelings of anhedonia, suggesting the two are closely connected. It can be tempting to swoop in and save our kids at the last minute, but its better for them to learn the consequences of their actions while they are young. That being said, the teenage years are also one of the most important times to nurture your relationship. h(d),!1));this.sendErrorLogToCommandQueue.apply(this,k([b,c],h(d),!1))};a.prototype.event=function(b,c){for(var d,e=2;e

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