husband does things without telling me

He calls you needy and clingy. When I was young, probably in middle school, I made the mistake of hanging up on my dad (who was killed in a car accident in 2010) when I was mad. We want to be first in your heart. My husband and I have watched it many times through the years to remind us that our #1 MOST important job is making Christ the center of our home, 2nd OVER ALL ELSE is our marriage and how can we better serve each other. E mail me any time if u want to talk!! My husband hurt our relationship by not acknowledging special days and keeping them priority. I only show weakness and that is so not me. The books also tell you how to leave safely, because that is the time when women are more likely to be hurt by their abusers. Sometimes men and women, in general, tend to take communication forgranted. Why cant she ever fully understand? I strive daily to remind not just her, but myself, that she isnt just my wife, shes my best friend. We fight a lot' even he uses sex and emotional feeling I don't want too. We dont count. Also I feel like nobody respects me and Im a pusharound. So I thought I would start talking about my past life and speaking to all the men we encountered and would you believe he no longer flirts in my presence. I have arthritis, a heart and lung condition. Every one of these women on here get to tell you one side of the story and paint it however they like for you, the reader. 4d; View more comments. I most often clean after her pets, and let the dog out, and feed both her cat and dog very often. If Im with friends thats what Im thinking about. I have swallowed my pride for hundreds of times and have forgiven at least that many. It really sounds like he put you on the spot by asking you to take this trip in front of his friend, basically making it impossible for you to say no without seeming like you have a problem with this guy and, thus, making his apparent issue with you grown even more. I work par-time and have considered living with my mom until I complete a Nurses Aid course in 4 -5 weeks. The truth of the matter is men use and abuse women all the time, take them for granted and act like they have to do all sorts of things simply because they have a vagina (which they did not ask for) and do it with a smile. He said that his wife was experiencing female issues too, and added problem that husbands do not have to go through, but still husbands complain. DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE CHEAT SHEET AND ACTION STEP WORKBOOK NOW! I wish I wouldve read this a year ago. I think every woman on the planet should read them. Now, he randomly out of the blue tells me while we are watching tv that he has secrets he will never tell me and that he doesnt care he hurt my feelings by saying something completely unnecessary! I have not even been able to fix my life from the damage of the first one. Arent you tired of playing second fiddle? Gee, thanks for the condescending attitude toward women. I am perfectly capable of finding solutions to problems. I was grateful to find this site and to know that I am not alone! So I will repeat myself in case he really didnt hear (he has some slight hearing problems), and he gets angry and snarky that I am saying it AGAIN. What if your spouse just wont talk to ypu at all. It really helped me a lot! As I write this Im sitting in my chair crying silently while my husband is laying on the couch playing a game on his phone without a care in the world, I am very close to leaving him but scared to death, I loathe him right now but am afraid when Im not angry that leaving would have been a mistake, weve been together for 18 yrs, after 13yrs of not so great marriage I realized he was having an what started as an online affair with a women 15 hrs away, he drove there once slept with her felt guilty came home, I thought he had gone up north to visit family, he continued his hours and hours of phone talk with her when I wasnt around, my gut said something wasent right, I looked at the phone bill one night and almost passed out from all the calls, he cried a little said they loved each other and I moved out the next day, I found an evil part of me in this process and broke in the house we once shared rubbed all his clothes down with poison ivy and left, she made him move her down here with him which lasted 2weeks, I still wanted him back I guess because I only thought of good times not bad, we started working on getting back together but any time I asked about the affair he would tell me its none of my business and storm out, I never forced him to want me and fight for me I just forgave, now 5 yrs later in writing this, I am torn, am I the bad guy I have a man who cleans, cooks works and so do I, but he probably doesnt even know what color my eyes are, when we fight Im miserable and he never misses a beat, if I try to talk to him about whats bothering me he tells at me, we still have sex once a week, and time and day same place, I hate it, he accused me of going through his phone which he says he doesnt care just dont lie about it, I didnt go through his phone, Ive never had a compliment from him, I cant go anywhere by myself, and if I want to buy something he says I hope you have money, though I work. Your Heart is asking you to stand up for it. I understand the article may be related to normal husbands and normal marriages, but what can a wife do with a husband that is emotionally unstable (depression, mood swings, anxiety, fearful, argumentative)? She is tired of trying to explain to him how bad he is hurting her by being this way towards her,tired of arguing with him,she has gotten very depressed,cries quite a bit. From one wife to another! Well stated! It is not your place to judge. I have tried talking about things that interest him, and it piques his interest when I try to read up on his favorite football team, or cars but eventually he loses focus (and patience) if I even try to squeeze in something about me, or something I wanted to share with him not revolving around him and his interests. Most husbands I know would never injure their wife knowingly. Ive been broken so many times n Ive lost pieces of my heart so its just best, if I keep it to myself! The truth is marriage is hard, and as the culture is changing it is only getting worse much worse. Its getting tiring at 44 years old to still be going through this together. I thought he would understand and love me more. It honestly hurts me like he has no idea and I try so hard to make him happy yet I feel like I have to either beg him for things it hurts me so much not having anyone to talk to so that they wont judge I wish he knew how much it hurts ! We are all sinners and we all need the love and grace of Jesus to help us in our marriages. Maybe check.your feminist agenda to make sure you are not oppressing women your self by assuming if we are house wives that we are slaves with no.choice. I have struggled with this one before. I work in a highly paid job, do all household chores, cook, clean and have raised 4 intelligent, kind and caring children in spite of him. I am tired too , Im broken with the manner my husband relate to me and making me feel.hes happy when am sad .he always talk down on me. For example, your a nag, your a nag, your a nag! That is how you show and receive love. i will advice every one out there that has a similar issue, and also any one who is willing to get his or her lover back and any one who wants to get pregnant quick to contact this wonderful man today and forever remain happy in life. If anything, Im reminded how easily offended women get and how much we read into something that was never said. Noyou shouldn't pray that you die and he and the kids will be better off. I can get very defensive. I'm guessing that divorce is either something you don't want to think about or maybe you might be financially worse off if you divorce, so I understand that completely. Dont make us feel like your MOM and a MAID and expect us to automatically turn into your MISTRESS! After about 10 minutes of not speaking and feeling like He wants Me to ask for permission to speak I left the room and wash dishes from breakfast that I cooked for all of US, He proceeds to get on internet to look up why he feels I am interrupting Him and it makes Me rude. I often see more men holding back secrets from their wives than wives holding secrets from their husbands. When we separated he told me that he felt "shortchanged in the wife department" and that he never noticed all the efforts I was making to try and be a good wife. He says just ignore her. The most painful thing as that I was pregnant with our second baby. Do you have any friends or family to support you emotionally? I ask him not to do it. She hears and feels deeper than you do. They want to be her protector. I have tried to get help from others and it almost got me kicked out. Just because I don't have a college diploma does not mean my intelligence is lower, I do not know how to make him understand this, I gave this advice to someone else today. My husband has gotten so bad, that I cant even ask a simple question without getting my head bit off. Having said that, you both need to go to counseling. We are in completely different fields, and built our careers independently from each other. We act like were strong but in reality so vulnerable, when it comes to outbid husbands. Hey, youre not stupid! It's never good to hide, lie, and withhold in a relationship. I so understand these women my husband loves to cut me down with his words till I spend days crying. I think it is extremely disrespectful. All he cares about is his needs, not mine!!!! It was just the complete lack of having the other perspective represented. Id definitely appreciate it. unless you have been through any of this how can you say they are whining or being overly needy. then appreciate him. No counseling for him; he always says Jesus is his counselor. so im surprised I didnt relate to this one as well. I dont think thats all true, sorry for my opinion, but most of those seven things is done to me instead of her. Heck yeah!!! A sweet beautiful, honest, amazing mother. She sees the marriage as a partnership in every part of life even the parts she may never fully understand. I want my loving husband back. You can view it HERE. Dont understand the lawyer thing. my marriage is over even though we are still living in the same house. Once, only once, I want to see such a write-up with an average-looking creature at it's header. I agree with Maeve. I am not stupid. About one-third of baby boomer couples, on the other hand, said they would be unlikely to discuss a purchase unless it were over $500. Something my husband does that I don't really see in the 7 above is he takes everyone else's opinion over mind. There are some men who really do look down on their wives, even while having a charming/gallant image. Even worse, a woman may respond with one of the 5 Cs. When he expects me to do something for him, it has to be done right that second, but when I need help with something, its never done. You start to really think its your identity to not be good at cooking and cleaning. Real friends. Women need to read it as well. clearInterval(checkElem); Glad this helped some people. Understanding. Your post hit everything I have been doing wrong thank u but I still help some help I really dont want to lose her at all .. again we both need help thank for, I need help i been with my wife for 19 years and i keep lying to her i need to stop or she will divorce me, Through I agree with these, it also misses some big hurts. I live on eggshells trying to not upset him or set him off in any way but some time it is the easy I breath that does it. he helped me clone my spouse phone and tap into my spouse whatsapp and e m ails. It's an eye opener to see the things that I have been doing spelled out for me. I'm a good wife and mother, and I work very hard with a very good income. Sorry you are so easily offended. On our honeymoon on the Maine coast, we came back early because it was foggy one day and there was nothing to do. He would call one of his co-workers (a real hunky guy) on the phone every day after work and talk for an hour! Recently, there was a huge blow up in our home and our middle son left home for 3 days. My husband and I have been married 40 years. Nor did he say that women arent guilty of these very same things. And, that hurts. ive been married almost 10 years now and have one child my husband is very controlling person with a serious drinking problem . McDubb, get off your high horse and grow a heart!! or "She tries to hide it from me! A few months ago, our paths at work crossed again as my husband attended a seminar I held for fellow leaders of the company, which has happened before. It wont be over night but she needs to get a grip on reality and take it a day at a time or even a minute at a time. His comment the first time was Thats it? The husband knew how important affection was to the wife when they got married, but he always goes into a rage if mentioned. My husband continually disrespectful t me by continually looking at other women in my presence. They will help you connect the dots and understand the dynamics of what is going on. and before that had never lived anywhere more than a yr. Some of us do not get the luxury of taking our loved ones presence for granted. The comments here are causing me to smell some overt and covert narcissists in the husbands. No where in the vows did it say I promise to make sure no matter what happens down the road, I will make my wife (or husband) happy every day by filling some imagined void in their contentment every single day Its no wonder marriages are down year by year, because the younger generations see this in their parents and want no part of it. Join some secret support groups on this subject on Facebook. I am currently writing a book on this issue so other women may have a chance to get the hell out before it gets worse. Most women (who arent hardened by bitterness already) are bruised much easier than men. I cant say anything or he gets very angry. He may hear it as intrusion or jealousy and you probably mean it as curiosity. Little things, such as buying his favorite soap. He force me to get my licence so he don't have to drive me around and my children for my appointment. Therapists are lame. If I try and talk about serious (really anything) he ignores me. }, 250); His role as provider is praised and idolized, while mine is marginalized. I feel like he don't feel the way I look getting fat he said getting couple gray hair only 36 years old. I always give in to my boyfriend. I believe this is the main cause why some couples choose to remain together until the partnership has reached unbearable limits. Thanks, Jenny. Or flowers for special occasions, but he never does anything to show me he loves me. I find my self looking up ate the sky when I see a plane fly by wish I was on it going somewhere, I feel lonely and confused on what to do next. Here are a few other ways partners can lie to each other about spending: Rounding Down. Mr.Randall, I agree with all my heart! You have a lifetime of changes in interests, and that will be the first thing that will cause you to drift and then these other little problems come up and next thing you know, you are either just existing in the situation until you die, life is pure hell day to day, or you are on a roller coaster from day to day. I was all alone going taking on the tasks of husband and wife, working 60 plus hours a week while going to school to keep my mind off the fact that I just got married and my husband and I don't get to make any memories for 8 months. Tells me I'm controlling when I ask about his day in detail. His violence will only escalate until he starts punching you. Im getting too old for this. If you arent married right now, do not be so foolish to believe somehow you are the couple that will never face these problems. The only way were likely to change another person is by changing the way we react or the way we treat them. The little things that we each do for each other mean a lot. And saying weird-ass shit like I want to slap your ass, put butter your butt, poke you in the ear or even weirder sayings.

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