narcissist ex never contacted me again

Every time I started to walk, shed want me back in her life so badly. We have two children together and he is a Deputy, his days with the girls are drop ins. Protect yourself and your children but be very wise about it. Worked for me when I wasnt even trying. So, when the cops called they said unfortunately they couldnt charge him because he now is alleging I theeatened too. We where too close and i was ok with that. Also remember that the healing process requires a distance from the narcissist, then and then only you can heal from the narcissistic abuse. His schedule does not allow for consistency.I apologize for the length and the mess that this submitted story is, but may I thank you for having this and giving me a voice and a way to air this. I have some new answers and new pride in myself. Youve been emotionally and financially abused and cast-off like a paper bag from McDonalds. He talked and messaged 3 girls from his job continuously in the consecutive years. Josi. The disappearing act commences. She would constantly leave me, make me beg, then come back promising me the world and how I was the love of her life she wanted to get married, have babies etc. Narcs are not decent people and I am scared now what this contact means. They can be so sweet and giving when they want to, yet completely break your heart when it often matters most. So perhaps we can all utalise that hurt to think what have we gained from this HORRIFIC, life changing ordeal & experience ?? He knew what to say. 4. I have a problem and I need help and Im willing to go through all the steps to make myself better..(probably unlikely but what if.. since shes not doing well financially and she might be hitting rock bottom pretty soon..if she hasnt alreadyidk..) She also smokes and takes valiums / adderrall and stuff like that which also contributes to her instability.plus some drinking.. Wow.I have to check out Dr Simon manipulative people. Pfffft, again masking, trying to show me he has moved on and how me asking him to leave has not affected him. Even knowing all the lies, pain and suffering she has caused me Im still brain washed. He told me they have not had sex yet and that their relationship of 7 months started as friends, then best friends then relationship. I have gone No Contact with her now for a few months but its still very hard. its like hes two ppl. Women narcs can be especially nasty. Which is dumb, but I still find myself wondering. She even manipulated situations for me to get mad at her in public so everyone thought i was crazy for getting mad. I know several. Thats why to get many of them in the same group is no surprise to professionals, so the term psychopathic mob was coined, and what me and you are in, is known as character assassination. I have a real one for you. Mine literally erased me. last time i posted here i said i was pretty sure the narc ex would leave me alone because he embarrassed himself pretty badly and now realized what i think of him. Then i got weak again. NEXT, I am a small woman and live on my ownnobody. Yes, I truly thought she may have been my soul mate after all, although even then I was skeptical at how extremely clingy she was. I try only now to be patient to feel my way and not react to this sense of emptiness fill it with other things and in a way hope that in time that the feelings will return but that is only for the experience of flying we are not alone in this world we do not do things only for the thing itself but that experience is surrounded by other people and its those people who are largely the same all of whom stood back and let me be abused. Even if she wanted to talk to me, I doubt she would since she owes me so much money. Anyway, you read the story. I can certainly see that point of view and I have no doubt that this is mostly unconscious in those who are non-malignant. Now because i feel humiliated i send three long emails to him. Our problems escalated. He is trying to invade your space physically and mentally, even though he has already moved on. You can find street hookers with better hearts than your most recent ex. Acting as if the world revolves only around them. 2. So with his proud. He gave me 2 STDs and still I was so in love I begged for more. I tried it. I just unearthed his hand written letters from when we first started dating in college. He couldnt deny the behaviors and traits fit. No contact is your control over this, but the Narc will be back. I have basically gone underground to prevent that. You sound young. I believed him at first. You are not alone, you dont need to do it alone. This man bullied me while I was pregnant to the point of me vomiting and having massive panic attacks, breathing into paper bags and begging God to end my life. I raged more than him since he drove me crazy at times. I did not even hound her about it, and actually was pretty cool about the whole thing. If I tell him off about his narc behavior he accepts it. Maybe this is a part of his punishment of him. Very skilled at the manipulation. Youd think by now these Narcs would come up with a new algorithm. Then he leaves me with a weak excuse. No Warning, No Reasoning, No Closure, No Contact Today I was shocked to get a text completely out of the blue from my ex. I miss that person. Anyway, last Friday was my birthday as well as his uncles (HE WILL FOREVER REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY!). Present day he has come crying back to me wanting to work on things I have given in twice and found that after a couple weeks of my return his attempt to make things right dwindled and began to fall into the same pattern. The best thing for you would be to go completely No Contact and sever the ties with this person. I realized that all my love could not counter his dark side, so I left. He told me he picked me on purpose to break his pattern of dating crazies. *head smack* Notice the opening paragraph where he manages to shoot down my family, my religious background, my summer job and my college friends in a few short sentences. By this point, hed been trying to call/text for four weeks, why not send a letter? Pretty silly aspirations huh!? I dont agree with any of it, its just how Narcissists think. I was just done. So dear friend I understand how difficult when it appears to the rest of the world that you have a great partner and marriage when you know the reality of it all. So the outcome would have been the same either way. I dont believe I have a great future and ith leins o my house bcuz he wouldnt work and I wasbdisqbled. And if she then tells her bf that you suspect hes one and he is, he will make your life miserable. I cannot describe it. Usually they are very emotional people, but their emotion is so great, that they find it hard to see where you are coming from simply because they are constantly dealing with their own inner turmoil. Next time you have the urge to reach out, its probably a good idea to write him an email or hand-written letter, but then dont send it. He changed his number, his job, got himself a girlfiend, a house together, holidays, cars, boys toys, all the while I struggled to live daily and raise our kids. I smell a FEW conflicts brewing. Id been waiting since then to get another call from him to threaten me in some way over the damn freezer but nothing since then up until this past weekend. This is about THEM, All they need us for is to use us, lie to us, be nasty to us, verbally, emotionally & in some cases physically abuse us & dump all their hatred onto us, to make them feel bigger, stronger & better about themselves, and its all not their fault really Her house. Increasingly however and especially in our last communications he seems to have become amnesiac in regards to our relationship. I understand where youre coming from, but the frustrating truth is that each time you reach out to him it gives him validation that he is still on your mind and he derives great enjoyment from having the opportunity to tell you that its over. My suggestion would be to find out what it is within yourself that attracts you to this personality type (since you mentioned shes not the first). Seven months later. . Not once did he call me to see if I was ok I hate tslkin about this IT MAKES ME SOOOO SAD BUT I HAVE TO ASKWHAT IS THE COMPULSION W DOIN BACK NOT BEIN ABLE TO PUT HIM DOWN M LEAVE HIM THERE? Ive stopped for the most part questioning why understanding an N is like the Borg in Startrek no thought no feeling. Let his sin be known and refuse to cover it up for him like he wants you to! No do not accept him back. I know if he hadnt come along I would have gone back for more. I guess Im just struggling with all the emotions related to the situation more than anything. [] committed?) Since 2012 my ex hasnt done anything for our kids including being a father. I thought I had finally gotten over the crazy woman syndrome, and in fact had dated some very cool women over the last several years. Ive seen it. Therefore, when a narcissistic ex tells you to never contact them again, it can be challenging to determine if they genuinely mean it. If the other parent is a demon then we have a moral obligation to let our kids know the truth. Tell this to friends with no codependency they dont understand.. Cat and mouse game. I must have had sucker written on my forehead. My neighbors helped and got mevtonhospiral. If anyone is in denial its him. You are a great person, one who has so many wonderful qualities, with a mighty calling from God on your life! By Sylvia Smith, Expert Blogger 12.4k Reads Updated: 28 Mar, 2022 A toxic narcissist relationship revolves around insecurity, abuse, and then manipulation. I dont care if i dont see you again but i would do anything for j___ (grandchild). He will never make a good partner with anyone and is destined to go through life never knowing real happiness. And because I know how you feel. I just wish it was easier for me to understand her intentions. I am shocked at myself..I am savvy.. but his lies and deception shone through and good luck to his new GF ..he wants women with high profiles to further himself.. and I had many contacts.maybe getting so distraught and phoning his Mom was not a good idea.. but hey he said he had his own home yes lies lies lies.. never ending. Thank you so much for writing this. I did, and that was when she came after me with reckless abandon. I was scared, i became sick, lost a lot of my hair and quickly fell away from all social contact with anyone. Al those weekends he never answerd my tons of textings never. As far as I last knew, she had been with her new BF for nearly a year now, and may have moved in with him so he would be the current supply, unless she found new supply. I think about you all day during work and dream about you all night. Mine started calling less, being very distant and ambiguous. Anyway, I decided that when he came the next day, I was going to look the best hes ever seen me so I put on heels, stockings, skirt, low cut blouse, make up, fingernails done, White Diamonds perfume, hair loose and looking good. Good job! Now, I dont know if that unhappy look was due to the way I lookedlike he might have been thinking..damn! everybody knows, its a psychopathic cluster,all listed disorders include the NPD and all are Antisocial. Only, now we both know the truth. You know, I met my friends new bf the other nite for the first time. Just a note to say, hi, and pray you are doing okYou have been on my heart over the past couple of weeks, so I felt like I needed to reach out, now that some time has passed since we last spoke. Keep it that way. Someone should take up a collection of these and publish a free ebook to send to every 17 year old just making their way out into the larger world, with all the red flags highlighted and footnoted. She told me they are friends first and foremost, that their relationship is not based on sex and the honeymoon period has not started yet. There is a tangible difference between BPD and NPD, even though the symptoms and the way the victim feels is similar. After ten days he started answer and said that i have the right of the trueth and would tell me the day after. Good luck. If Im so horrible then why are you curious about me? If you think about it, its what separates us from them. What did i find? lack of communication and time spent on the relationship, lack of clarity in what his needs/wants/expectations were, lack of definition of my status in his life, etc). Am I so far gone for thinking that men always go for cheap and nasty insults like bitch, stupid, crazy when they argue with women? HiHe is still on your mind that much, you really need to go no Contact, he is playing games but your allowing it. Telling their ex-partner to never contact them again can provide them with a sense of control and protection from further rejection. I will definitely visit him now. If you caught up with her about them, she would generally express remorse and apologize. I would like to also add that I love every post as not one of the side topics has been absent in my relationship/experieces. But it would feel good when he will contact me. Be safe and contact a Domestic Violence Shelter too, worst thing is when they know youre going to leave they act all nice loving even apologizing again. Always playing the victim card. No time or space for other people. I am still in touch with my stepkids and was just holding one of them while she sobbed over the abuse he has inflicted on her. Felt like death would be preferable to the pain I felt while involved with my exBPD. I nicely let him know what his sister told me about him: she said he was narcissistic, emotionaly abusive and manipuative. This is much harder than I thought it would be. Always bending over backwards to make time for me, make my career aspirations come true, a listening ear. So, you know better about your situation. I can tolerate that but not abuse. I couldnt handle this so I blew up, he left me the second time over this woman, we divorced that year, he said he had fallen out of love with me because I had become this crazy non trusting woman, and I had hurt him to the poin that something had snapped inside. It has not at all been my intention to hurt you in any way, and I really do want the best for you. Twist a story to their advantage as if their the victim, and yet, their the culprit. My point is for me six months silence and those kinds of insults mean you must despise me and want nothing to do with me because you think Im such a horrible individual. The longer you stay no contact, the likelier. Its difficult to comprehend that the person I was with was an imposter. I love the way you feel on me. So empty. When I wouldnt walk away from the church I was the evil one and incompetent. Well find out. WebMy ex contacted me after 8 years : r/NarcissisticAbuse 589 votes, 61 comments. Keep up the good work. It took me one year to realize, who I was dealing with. I am going to train my mind with positive things that shows me my capacitys and the people i am making smile. The solicitor states the deed is in force and to get my house back I must pay her close to 65,000. All of these factors are a recipe for disaster and are why its so extremely difficult to detach. It seems almost abstracted now that so much time has passed and its me who seems absurd talking about the specifics of what happened. This is just out of pure curiosity, but lets say that I decided not to pursue the money and just let things be. Stay strong and dont give in! Some of the stories she told people about me, made me seem, cheap, needy, aggressive, highly emotional or flat out crazy. I thought the same when my ex found his new supply. I know that she lies to everyone in her life. He is cluster B. He is seeing if I would be an option again because thats what a parasite like he is does to women. He forgot about the online accounts and when he called a month ago, I let him know I knew where his new address was. Sure I have my work, my family (? Never thought Id walk from her, she was so different . I am getting back up and know about a couple of days i am back me again. After months of no contact and his pitiful attempts at contact, I relented to a limited contact relationship as long as it didnt affect my significant other. For the life of me, I cant figure it out. We are left with nothing !!.. Your ex WILL contact you again. They can move on as if nothing ever happen and never want to speak on or own the nasty fake people theyve become. They only sometimes and realy view times they have a connection with his heart. Hope that helps. Why would he contact me if he has a new supply? (this is allowed by law, as opposed to you are the NPD, in this country, at least). I suppose it also really bummed me out that whenever she would walk away, I would play chicken with her to see if she would come back before I would. He reminded me so much of my ex..he was always talking and acting as if he was the authority on every subject. The more I read about narcissists, the more I am amazed at what I put up with and how deeply I was manipulated. I can tell you that for the three months that she pursued me, I was not always at her beckon call. He said it was work related. What was I suppose to do? What do I mean by need? Thanks Jill. Shes left again and Ive not heard from her in over a week. However she had a mean streak in her. At first, he tried doing friends with benefits but I declined. It is her way of getting back at the people who raised her. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with being your sun, monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity, keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly, keeping you down. We met at the very beginning of a pregnancy I had with another man who turned out to be a pathological liar. Jamie, if I were in your shoes, I would file a restraining order, citing the information you shared here. When Im in this situation due to school meetings, etc., I view my Ex as a Kindergartener who simply cannot help himself. I say this because my ex was an undiagnosed BPD. He was also very sexual with me yet his girlfriend said they have not had sex yet in 7 months (that comes from her own issues). It has been over 2 yrs that my ex broke up w me according to him because I send an old guy friend a meme I LOVE YOU FRIENDETC SEND TO 15 OF YOUR FRIENDS. I found him again on dating websites, 3 profiles on POF different ages, different names. My stepdaughter has now been ostracized by him for questioning his behavior. So, they will wait for you to contact them. He told me he shall do everything in his power to make it work. Domestic violence unit contacted me the next day and said that they believed me and told me to get an emergency protection order and he feels my ex is more passive aggressive and gets off on reactions, that he would manipulate from the outside. Excellent post. About 95% of the time we got along terrifically and truly enjoyed each others company. I cant imagine living an entire life with no escape or if I tried being brought to submission or outcast from family and friends. I recognize this sooo much, beauty and charm come with a high price. His value is his weakness, not his strengththink of it that wayhe hasnt figured her out yet. You mentioned that you believe he has blocked you, but if I were in your shoes, I would make sure that I had blocked him from all forms of communication. Once we became a relationship I let her stay by me (big mistake), oblivious to the fact that this charming person who Im starting to love and who loves animals and loves music like me ..etcoblivious to the fact that one day I will look pretty much at the devil itselfWhen I wasnt home she searched my computer for everything and went through all my stuff.etc I did a lot for this person and bought her stuff.,..even though she didnt really do much for me.. He knows Im having a baby and that Im vulnerable yet he has no problem disappearing. Only 6 weeks after his move, then only responded by text for 4 months, never spoke to me about breaking up, then posted a pic of Thank you. The female narc will demean and disrespect you and treat you like dirt and say that you are the mean one. I hope this helps anyone suffering from harsh words of narcs, who got exposed? Im sure you have added me to that list now. Im sorry for your pain. Three weeks ago, we had a huge fight, which turned physical. Unlike other cases Ive seen, he never begged after that. He is lying to her about his finances and tells her I am trying to turn the kids against him, which could not be further from the truth. When I went back to school and finished my degree and when I began teaching a class at church that the pastor wouldnt allow him to teach all hell broke loose. Everyday its a struggle to get back to myself and he has caused so much emotional damage. I was obsessing about him even though my life was going well. Reply with "yes" or "no" answers: Unfortunately with narcissists, they can never write an email or text without passive aggressively knocking your ability to function as an adult. There is also pure NPD. I crawl back now. And if he does. Think about that before you break NC. I had PTSS at that time from it. However, he was always emotionally putting me down, calling me stupid or crazy, or that my way of thinking was crazy. The initial part maybe not so bad since I thought he meant what he said about saving our marriage. This guide will show you the signs your ex is truly done with you, I desire to be in relationship with a woman that will love( Im not expecting perfection here), edify, forgive, encourage and see the good in me, and I desire to be with a woman who can and will receive that as well. I cannot explain it. A Punishable Offence, probably none of us were aware of with a Life Sentence !!.. And they are right. Facades, smokes, masks and mirrors aside, I feel my narc and I have a lot in common that cant be enjoyed because of his cruelty and my ultimate discard of him which in hindsight must have been a fairly traumatic thing for him. I definitely have some work on myself I need to do though. It doesnt mean you are worthless you are a really good person and they know it. I also have a lot of rage and I am so cynical and pessimistic of everything .I think I have ptsd. He cant be a friend and you know this. I grew up with narcassism in my family. Xx. He was not used to me ignoring him in the same manner that he had been ignoring me. Lets cut it and make 4-5%. While he has his Triumph. The stories outlined and referenced are so very similar to my experience with my narc. I think of them as masters of the game. Actually THE NEXT DAY (imagine what he felt), and the community too. That may be whats happened with you. Manipulative probably but still Mine knows for sure his behavior isnt normal but he feels people should accept him as he has good qualities like generosity and humor. Yeah rightI asked him the night he walked out what he wanted to do with that freezer and he told me to keep it. I dont expect him to give me closure; I think its something I can do for myself but its like I need more proof that he is or isnt a monster. Ive posted it here before but I think it warrants repeating. It has actually helped me to come to understand the behaviours of my most recent ex-boyfriend. Anonymous, I find what you said to be quite unfair. Do you know the scorpion and the frog story? Do they send clues or try to spy to see if you are still alive? So to all of you who are struggling, there is hope, there is a way out of the dark, over time you begin to love yourself more and you will see the light. Be thankful you are out. I can relate to your concerns because I share a son with my Ex. It was a problem when I found out that he and his friends have been flirting at work and outside work until the girl slowly detached from him as she fell in love with him. Speaking as a woman who was ripped off of about $80,000 between the last two narcs/sociopaths I was involved with and who sweet-talked and seduced me and played Prince Charming so well they fooled everyone initially and then left me devastated and Im still suffering from PTSD and on meds years laterwell, it just doesnt seem fair to read what you wrote. he tried to seperate me and my daughter . I have been with him for almost 2 years. But now i have told that i have a boyfriend, he suddenly texted me `have a nice weekend`.. i did not respond. sure. Just read it and also watch the videos. Its been six months . He remembers everything I say and twists and turns it intoto something awful he can verbally abuse me with. He initially said he wanted a divorce, I said fine but your gonna pay (married 20 years yeah I know pretty stupid) and so we never split up. And i know in my mind what i SHOULD think say and feel. Ten years and two kids later with a Narc. Because if a narcissist has discarded you, then they might have already found their new source of supply and they do not wish to be bothered by their ex. He has distraction. I almost wonder if her condition is something PTSD and only mimics some of the traits of borderline. I wont be scared I need to know if someone who is not violent or have never exhibited violent tendencies, but is clearly PD in cluster format can they be sent over the edge? We had been married 21 years and together 24! That love letter got to me. However, I must add, the corporation and the hired management know, that I know their dirty laundry. So, its not that they were deceived by her, its just what is now known as corporate psychopathy, can look up, if youre interested. They stayed together for 14 years and from what I can gather within that time there were affairs, a suicide attempt and an episode of post natal psychosis. She was 16 he 27. Hi, Ive been involved with a covert narcissist sociopath in my small neighborhood. How can you say you love someone and do these things. We were together for 4 1/2 yrs. He wants me out and he didnt care that I couldnt afford anything. I do see strong narcissistic qualities in him, but I wonder if he is a true N. I dont want to look for reasons to by sympathetic to him, because he hurt me deeply and Ihe will not get a pass on that. But later i felt he was meaning it. And these memories have such a hold on my spirit, my heart. I just think he knows everything I do for him and no one else will be that way what do you think. Another something else etc. When he comes at that moment he makes everything alive again. I really do. And he is holding on, believing I am the love of his life. I even doubted myself and took a test to see if, I in fact, was the Narcissisttypical partner turned victim. The next day, i found the remote, so I texted him just to tell him not to bother looking for it. I hope its the latter for you! So in the case where the failure of a relationship leads to the feeling of blame and insult for the narcissist, and when the narcissist mentions the statement Never Contact Me Again, then believe it to be a fifty percent chance of them either returning or breaking up the relationship for real.

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