how to coach a condescending employee

The follow-up phrase "Do you have an example or template I can follow?" demonstrates sincerity. Focus on productivity and objectives. This tactic may help them to see how much their coworkers have to contribute, and how listening and collaborating may lead to a better outcome. Tracy Lopez August 25, 2022 Coaching for Change: Developing Arrogant Employees Having trouble with overconfident employees? When youre ready, you can talk to your coworker about their behavior. Even though youre in a situation where you find yourself uncomfortable or annoyed with your co-workers behavior, try to display kindness when discussing this with them. After the meeting, I did what I would do after any client meeting: spend 30 minutes debriefing with my colleague on what went well and what we could do differently next time. Employees who allow the persons comment to affect them will start feeling defensive and lash out which most likely is what the person wanted all along. What company benefits are most important to you? This person probably acts this way with the majority of people they come into contact with. Using gender-exclusive nicknames such as calling a female manager or teammate sweetheart can also come off as a sexist comment which can create a rift between professional relations and even a formal complaint if it continues. If you could redo it, what would you do differently? The goal, she says, is to get your direct report to think about his style and approach. The behavior could be something that the person isnt aware of. These questions also give [your employee] the time and space to think out loud about his behavior and the root causes of it, Webb says. Focus on growth Broaching a topic like someones interpersonal indelicacies is not easy, so it helps to frame what youre trying to convey in terms of your employees growth, Su says. The tone of your conversation with your co-worker is strongly dictated by how you present the subject. The overcorrecting employee corrects even the most trivial things. They are the comments that are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at the expense of another individual. When confronting them, you are more likely to talk to them. HBR Learnings online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Feedback Essentials. Generally, patronization comes from a place of doubt within oneself. One way to handle a coworker whose patronizing you at work is by evaluating their comments to see if they present any valuable feedback. Stand up straight, take up your space, dont shrink back in offense, and hold your groundboth physically and mentally. "Don't be afraid to challenge this employee's assertions," said Atlanta-based career coach and author Hallie Crawford. Some coworkers are condescending because theyre insecure. If you cant stand the thought of ignoring your coworker, you can confront them about their behavior. If your coworker is overworked, try to be understanding. Give forward-thinking developmental feedback. An excerpt from Don Miguel Ruizs The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, explains this idea well: What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. Address their behavior with them. Use The Muse to find a job at a company with a culture you love. 8. If your coworker ignores you, theyre likely being condescending. Make sure that you talk to them politely and respectfully. MANAGER: And what would have been the impact of that alternative approach? Dealing with a condescending employee does not have to be a headache. If you can stand the condescending comments long enough to get away from that person, just grin and bear it and avoid that person in the future. Keep in mind that it is a purely professional situation When communicating with a coworker, it's helpful to remember that you're discussing professional matters. They might feel like theyre not good enough, or they might be insecure about their abilities. It is advisable for anyone put on the spot to stay calm and ignore the comment to avoid further conflict. This is the employee who always tries to put in his two cents, even when it's not wanted. If you call someone "rude" or tell them that they're "being rude," it can be extremely difficult for them to respond in any way other than defensively. theyre new to the job, or theyre not used to working with people. They might feel like theyre not good enough, or they might be insecure about their abilities. I explained to her, If you are on your phone, you cannot be fully present to understand what is happening in the room. Presenting yourself as friendly and approachable will make the other party more willing to hear what you have to say. If your coworker always acts superior, theyre likely being condescending. Condescending co-workers can wreak havoc and hurt productivity. An employee who is constantly explaining, lecturing, and informing his colleagues when it is not necessary can quickly make his colleagues feel condescended to. She took out her phone and demonstrated what Shannon had done in the meeting. "This is someone struggling to say they don't know," said Jessica Iennarella, CPA, CFF, supervisor at HSNO in Scottsdale, Arizona. "Someone could have a really good idea, and you'd miss out on an opportunity to make something easier to do or more efficient," he said. She has been featured on websites and online magazines covering topics in career, travel, and lifestyle. Adopting an amiable demeanor can also help bring up the points you want to speak about without building any resentment between you and your co-worker. The new accounting standard provides greater transparency but requires wide-ranging data gathering. Listen to their complaints and offer help where you can. This response was given outside of direct observation of the behavior so as not to focus on Jane in front of the team. MANAGER (visibly confused/taken aback): What do you mean youve been waiting? Get agitated. In her articles for The Muse, Lea empowers readers to confidently identify and tackle just about every dilemma at work, from challenging colleagues and bad bosses to interviews to career changes and professional development. The best way to deal with them will depend on your personality and the situation. Maybe the person is interrupting colleagues too often. Employees who use general nicknames like these may be perceived as condescending or disrespecting the co-worker or managers ability. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3. There are about a zillion reasons why someone may feel the need to be condescending to a colleague, ranging from . Such employees "are very good at proving their position. She authored The Resume Coloring Book, a simple and color-coded guide to writing a solid resume. MANAGER: Do you think it was necessary to correct him in the middle of his talk? Moreover, it increases stress, destroys happiness and decreases productivity and drives burnout. With this in mind, human resource professionals should be adept at identifying and flagging the tell-tale signs of employees or managers who continuously condescend on others to prevent problematic issues from arising. To provide inspiration, weve include four different scenarios, with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees. They might feel threatened by your success, or they might resent your achievements. Employers should be adept at flagging employees who routinely demonstrate this problematic attitude. 7 Top Strategies for Managing Employee Performance May 24, 2021 By Deanna deBara You can have a lot going for your company great ideas, innovative products, and cutting-edge technology. Be Careful Not To Sound Patronizing Yourself. Giving your coworker a defensive approach will likely send them into this mindset as well. Make sure your course-correction stays constructive. Please complete the form below and click on subscribe for daily newsletters from HRD America. If you've ever had a condescending manager, you may have considered quitting. Morey suggests having a know-it-all employee moderate a brainstorming session. Recently, a marketing firm called to solicit my business. Signs of being mean include: If your coworker is exhibiting any of these behaviors, theyre likely condescending. Or being condescending, or even combative. Whatever you do, don't storm off or get angry. 3 Reasons Why Should I Update Linkedin With New Job? EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. Dont give them the attention they crave, and they may go away. Stand up for yourself and set boundaries. Taking yourself out of the situation allows you as the manager to evaluate the employees' intentions: Mental distance provides you with the clarity to respond appropriately and effectively to every situation. The following are some examples of workplace behaviors that are considered condescending: A typical example of condescension is when an employee or manager continuously explains information or instructions to their co-workers even when it isnt needed or has already been discussed. No matter the specific behavior, your employee is clearly rubbing people the wrong way. They refuse to listen to anyone elses opinion. Walk Away If You Cant Handle A Condescending Coworker : 7. You want neutral observations, such as, I observed Xin the last meeting, and the impact was Y. Its also wise to strategize how your employee might respond to your comments. Your employee should feel that your intentions are positive. Some coworkers are condescending because theyre unhappy. He may literally be clueless, completely unaware of how hes offended you. What Is Considered Condescending Behavior? A good coach will help team members strive to develop the skills they need to keep moving forward and to avoid stagnation. But it certainly wasnt going to be an easy conversation, Alina says. The employee who disregards training and basic tasks because "he already knows." Similar to the know-it-all, but different. Correcting, interrupting, and using overfamiliar nicknames are all examples of condescending behaviour. Show her how valuable you are to her and to the team. 5 Habits That Make You Sound More Condescending Than You Mean To. Then describe the impact of the behavior and why you believe its problematic. If the behavior continues, employees should document all the instances and present them to the proper manager or HR representative. The employee well call him Peter would constantly interrupt his colleagues, roll his eyes during meetings, and be much too forward with his often unwarranted feedback. This paints the employee as condescending and can make their co-workers avoid them in the workplace. Its an excellent option to use when dealing with the first couple of times that you feel a coworker has treated you patronizingly. MANAGER: I am trying not to overwhelm you with information. You need a good game plan to defend against this type of behavioror else your self-confidence is going to take a big hit. It might be due to. She also planned to tell Peter that because she was invested in both his personal growth and his development at the company, she wanted to help him correct his behavior. Remember that other peoples behavior is always more about them than it is about you. Improving skills and abilities. If you dont want to be around them, avoid them. Its human to have that response, Webb says. If you distance yourself from your condescending coworker, they may get the hint. This feeling of insecurity is so overwhelming that they need to put themselves above the people around them. This employee might tell his experienced colleague how to do a task he has been doing for years. New employees might benefit from coaching in areas such as communication and technical proficiency. Co.Design. If youre struggling to deal with your condescending coworker, you can talk to a friend about it. With time and support, theyll become more confident. The next time theyll likely think twice before interrupting or acting condescendingly. See more: Subscribe to The Thougthful Leader newsletter to discover exceptional leadership insights to elevate your team's performance. They might feel like theyre not good enough, or they might not be confident in their abilities. 1. Managing a defiant employee isn't easy. Help them out where you can and give them some space. If you take things personally, itll feel like this person is attacking you, and in turn, youll trigger a fear response mechanism in your brain. A good way to address condescending behavior in the workplace is to have a conversation with the employee. You decide to combat their patronizing attitude by saying, I understand your point, but why did you have to interrupt me to say that?. She realized that she needed to raise the stakes to ensure that the message landed. Not responding in the moment is a disservice to both yourself and your employees. Promote professional bonding and consistent communication between employees and management. I said, Interrupting is disrespectful to your coworkers, and that type of behavior and attitudecan be very demoralizing to those around you.. Moreover, it can make you feel like youre not good enough. By acting superior, theyre making it clear that they think theyre better than you. Beat around the bush. Stay calm and centered during the conversation even if your employee gets defensive. We will share ways to handle a condescending coworker. Self-confidence is a valuable trait in the workplace, but, in some employees, self-confidence manifests itself as arrogance. If theyre cutting you off or talking over you, theyre being condescending. They're very strong-willed," Morey, a 2016 graduate of the AICPA Leadership Academy, said. About Blog Press Privacy Policy Contact Us, 111 South Jackson StreetSeattle, WA 98104. In the end, Peter was a bit embarrassed, but appreciative that someone had spoken tohim. Dont make judgments, dont generalize, and dont interpret, Su says. ", Depending on your comfort level with this colleague, you could consider letting him know how you (and possibly others) are perceiving the message based on tone of voice. An employee who is constantly explaining, lecturing, and informing his colleagues when it is not necessary can quickly make his colleagues feel condescended to. You are letting your coworker know that you wont put up with their behavior. They should use the opportunity to point out how their behavior is affecting others and the work environment. You can also set boundaries with your condescending coworker. Condescending behaviour means feeling and acting superior to others. Be sure to do so in a tactful way, she added. Keeping non-hostile expressions and neutral postures when confronting the condescending employee helps create a safe environment where both parties can express themselves freely without the fear of being judged. They might enjoy having control over others. In our years studying and working with companies on this topic, we've observed that when many executives say "yes," they're ill-equipped to answer. Once an employee has stepped back and calmed down from the condescending comment made by a co-worker, they can evaluate the comment for any insightful feedback that could help them improve as an employee. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.. This is the most effective way to get your condescending coworker to stop their behavior. Often, the perpetrator of workplace patronization wont even be aware of the condescending tone they have. By yelling at you, theyre making it clear that they think theyre superior and that they can treat you but they want. We do want to hear from you, but we want to hear from others, too. This way the feedback is about approach and delivery., Problem solve together Finally, Su says, you should offer to be your employees sounding board. You could say, Im happy to prepare with you before the next team meeting, or to debrief with you afterward. Its smart to get your direct report involved in how to solve the problem by brainstorming ideas and suggestions together, Webb adds. By acting like they know everything, they think theyre smarter than you. They might enjoy having control over others. A way to deal with a condescending co-worker is to address the issue with them and let them know how you feel. She then asked Peter for his perspective. I knew that I needed to pull Peter aside for a one-on-one to talk about his behavior. Let them know whats going on and ask them to help you deal with the situation. Dont merely throw at your co-worker that they are patronizing. Allow the natural confusion or concern felt in the moment to come out in your response. Evil coworkers can hurt anyone upto any means. Sometimes employees want to share an experience they had with a famous person for example, being seated next to a famous singer at the dentist or being high school classmates with a senator. Last Updated on 1 year by Shahzaib Arshad, What Makes A Good Coworker 15 Best Traits. If your coworker is always acting like they know everything, theyre likely condescending. Moreover, this make them less likely to be condescending. It makes them rethink their actions on the spot and can save you the headache of dealing with it later when it becomes a larger problem. Theyre always correcting you or telling you what youre doing wrong. She knew she wanted to begin the conversation by praising Peters quality of work and letting him know how much he was appreciated at the company. A reader writes: I am a fairly easygoing person with one major weakness: I cannot handle it when men are condescending. Admittedly, in some instances the employee doing the explaining may genuinely want to help others but co-workers can interpret it as being condescending, especially if it is in an area that the co-worker is an expert in. Maybe theyre new to the job, or theyre not used to working with people. Tech. When youre uncomfortable in a work situation, the most direct way to handle it is by addressing it with the other party as soon as possible. Evaluate their comments for helpful feedback. After years of weathering many insufferable male friends, colleagues, boyfriends, and family members, I have simply had a lifetime's fill of being condescended to. Consequently, this prevents the team from flourishing. Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names like chief or sweetheart, correct little mistakes, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they're overreacting when they're not. A condescending person seems to think theyre better than everyone else. Theres nothing quite as infuriating as a condescending coworker. If the other person gets riled up, youre more likely to get riled up, too. She recommends acknowledging your employees point of view, while also ensuring your message comes across. They can further help to support you through this difficult time. The most important step is to remember as the manager you are in the position of power and you do have the ability to fix the situation. If your coworker is always yelling at you, theyre likely condescending. If your coworker is struggling, try to be supportive. Here's how to deal with a condescending coworker, as advised by experts. Put them in the driver's seat. A good coach will help employees get an objective view of other members and their capabilities. Shannon knew going in that we would have this conversation, so that definitely made it a little easier., Suz asked her what went well, and they discussed that. As a result of you speaking over three people, I couldnt hear what they were going to say. Learn more by downloading this comprehensive report. Communication Self-confidence is a valuable trait in the workplace, but, in some employees, self-confidence manifests itself as arrogance. What a condescending coworker wants more than anything is for you to react. Such coworkers insult you or make fun of you. The first step to dealing with a difficult co-worker, particularly one who patronizes you, is to think about why people patronize others around them. However, there are ways to get know-it-all employees to recognize the effects of their behavior. Table of Contents [ show] Laurie Richards Help them out where you can and offer them some distractions. And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. Thus leading to unhealthy habits such as . Those are signals that tell her she nailed itif, in fact, she was trying to piss you off.

Can You Stop A Warrant Of Removal, Uc Berkeley Soccer Roster, Josh Lubliner Colorado, After Getting Offer Letter From Tcs, Maa Apartments Orlando, Articles H